Saturday, August 19, 2006

Bad Day

I fucked up tonight, argued with my wife and said some pretty cruel things. Even though I'm still mad at her, I'm mainly worried about her. She left without saying where she was going, and I just want to make sure she's okay. I'm scared and upset right now, and I just want her to be back home. I want things in general to be better; even myself.

It's only because of her that I've been able to deal with going to Iraq. It's only because of her that I feel like anyone thinks I'm worth anything.

I've always fucked up with the people I love. I don't want to repeat that trend with her.

God.

8 Comments:

Blogger Jenny said...

For better or worse - that's why we vow it.

6:01 AM  
Blogger cinnabari said...

What Jenny said.

I want things to be okay, too.

6:00 PM  
Blogger FreedomGirl said...

Hang in there and when she comes home, have her read your post.

9:13 PM  
Blogger cameo said...

i always act like an ass when i'm stressed/anxious.
you both have a lot on you plates right now emotionally.
arguments are good things - they heal.

it's never good ALL the time. there has to be these moments.

6:28 AM  
Blogger Softball Slut said...

I hope she came back and ya'll worked it out. Remember she is just as stressed about you leaving. Remember Vanessa, and how hard it has been for her. Just tell her you love her and hold her and that should make everything all right

7:57 PM  
Blogger --spared-- said...

Whatever was said, I'm sure you'll get through it. I realized a while back with my husband that if I had a pause button on my mouth where I got to think about what I said first, life would be easier for us. When she comes back let her know you are still mad if that's the case, but also let her know her leaving you is worse than anything that was said.

10:43 PM  
Blogger fmcfun said...

be vulnerable and drop your defences. just open up, and be the true you -she'll come back.

11:42 PM  
Blogger essa said...

She definitely needs you to be strong too. You need her to be strong more, but she needs to feel like you're going to be okay over there... it's important. Tempers flair, and things get hot right before, but it's just because sometimes it's easier to say goodbye to someone when you're angry with them, but try not to... she loves you. I'm sure she's fine. Hang in there, and I'll pray for you over there.

5:51 AM  

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